Dulcius ex asperis

Positivity breeds joy. It’s true. And I’m not just saying that because I am an optimistic person. Nor, in my optimism, am I constantly happy. I believe the difficult things make the good times better: “Sweeter after difficulty.” I heard that quote on a movie I watched during an almost four-hour flight from Chicago to San Diego. I believe it means that in order to get through the things in life that are difficult, you need to focus on what you foresee ahead, or what you hope will be on the other side of that difficulty.

Which reminds me of something my Driver’s Ed teacher taught me to help me drive straight: don’t look at the ground directly in front of your car – the space between you and the car in front of you. Instead, focus on the imaginary line that leads out into the distance of where you are headed, even as the road curves or climbs up or flows down a hill. In following that advice, I drove much straighter and passed Driver’s Ed.

Translate that lesson to the quote “sweeter after difficulty”: if you focus on the life that is yet ahead of you, it will be easier to work through the stress in front of you to find a way to the sweeter side. Which now leads to an anecdote of a difficult day I had this past week. In fact, it was the very same day that I watched The Lost City during my flight and where I heard the Latin quote: Dulcius ex asperis, or sweeter after difficulty.

I was trying to travel back to my new home in San Diego from the Midwest… Iowa… at wintertime. Anybody who expects to fly anywhere in the Midwest during  winter knows, or has already experienced, significant delays or flight cancellations. I was supposed to fly from the Moline, Illinois airport to Denver, Colorado as the first leg of my trip. The flight was canceled the day before it was supposed to take place – my first setback.

After finding and scheduling a new flight through Chicago (also Midwest), I arrive at the Moline airport fully expecting to board as scheduled at 6:50 a.m. BUT they didn’t have a seat for me, and I sat at Gate B11 hoping a generous passenger would give up their seat. I am forever grateful to unnamed traveler who wasn’t in a hurry to get to their own destination. Whew! Setback two out of the way!

Everyone boarded the flight, and we were all sitting there waiting to start moving when the caption announces setback number 3 – due to the heavy overnight frost, we needed to wait for the de-icing truck to spray down the plane, AND there was a Delta flight ahead of us. 

At this point I begin to fear flight cancellation and an abrupt deboarding. About 15 minutes or so later, the captain makes setback number 3b announcement – our de-icing truck was broken and we had to wait for the truck from the American Airlines end of the airport to finish de-icing before it could come and take care of the United/Delta side.

Weary. Tired. Stressed. (Deep, deep sigh)

Finally, finally, we were de-iced and started taxiing to the runway, and just when I think we are starting to speed up… the plane slows down… and we come to a complete stop! What is happening? There was no explanation. We just waited to either hear from the captain that we needed to go back to the terminal, or for us to actually take-off for Chicago. Another 10 minutes pass… and we start moving forward, accelerating, and (whew!) up in the air!

By this point it had been very close to an hour of unexpected and unplanned delay. I was supposed to have a little over an hour layover in Chicago where I had planned to eat breakfast. BUT due to the delay, I practically ran straight to the next gate, praying they’d still be boarding. Had I not been so focused on making my next flight, I might have seen the text stating: “Take a deep breath – we’re holding your next flight….” Which, of course, I didn’t read until after I arrived at Gate E10. (This flight calls for a little Bailey’s and coffee!)

I finally made it into San Diego after a nearly four-hour flight. Everyone, as usual, was anxious to deplane. I’m all the way in the back, row 37 of 39, and have a pretty good view of the exit door as travelers start to retrieve carry-ons from the overhead bins. But the line is not moving. I want to stand but it is too uncomfortable to stand with my back hunched and my head arched uncomfortably downward despite my short to average height. So… I sit down again. After maybe 10-15 minutes of restlessness, I hear a familiar song begin to play on the speakers.

“Don’t worry. Be happy.” (You’re humming the tune, aren’t you?)

I begin to smile. Everyone begins to smile. The guys sitting in the two seats next to me start humming and singing along. But only briefly. Then they giggle and start talking to each other. These two guys who hadn’t made a peep during the entire four-hour flight… started talking, found out they are both from San Diego and not too far from each other. As the line finally starts to move, these new friends had made plans to go grab a bite.

I was amused, amazed, in awe of the effect that a simple song had on them – on everyone. And whether the pilots or stewards made the decision to play that music, I have no idea, but I do know this. While the extended wait time could have started to arouse grouchy passengers, (I’ve seen it happen), it instead bred delight among those waiting.

And to top it all off, I was kept company by beautiful 68 degree sunshine as I waited for my ride.

It was a joyous day!